Monday, August 24, 2009

I don't practice Santeria, I don't have a crystal ball...

Did you hear that Marian Robinson (Barack's mother-in-law) practice Santeria? Wonkette did... and the source is Townhall, who appears to have taken down it's journalist endeavor once it was constantly busted on. But, do a search for White House + Witch and you'll get a kabillion resultes- with only the portions that Wonkette republished because, like magic, the article went POOF.

And even better- the author, Kristen Atkinson, submitted an email of complaint to Wonkette. For the love of Orisha, please click here and read it! (I promise you won't regret it.)

And although I could go on for ages about Kristen's letter to Wonkette, I won't, because she's clearly mentall ill. Instead, I want to assume it's all true and not give a flying fuck.

I mean, dammit, Mary Todd Lincoln was an occultist who held seances at the White House. This is tradition.

My own dear great grandma was quite the accomplished agricultural astrologer and only planted with the signs were in the knees, or whatever appropriate bodypart the signs were in... Every cheap calendar that the local farmer's co-op gave out had the phase of the moon, the sign, and the corresponding body part listed on each day. (I would love to explain to you this planting in the knees, and sign business, but alas, I paid no attention, and so her wisdom is lost... except for google.)

And I had a bit of healing magic performed on me as a child. I had warts on my hand, and yowled and yelped everytime my parents pulled out the Compound W... so...

They took me to the crone down the road who slaughtered the best pigs and made the best sausage available... She removed warts for a penny. Not your penny, hers. And again, I paid little attention to what she did except for say some words, break off some broomstraw, rub it on me, burn it, and give me a penny. My warts disappeared, without me noticing.

Maybe that was Santeria too.


  1. Jean Dixon in the Nixon White House anyone? How 'bout Jean Dixon in the Reagan White House?

    Reagan's CIA installed neo-banana fascist Noriega in Panama in '83.

    Noriega practiced Santeria (supposedly).

    Fidel Castro is rumoured to practice Santeria as well. So does Hugo Chavez. And Vladimir Putin. And Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd…the list goes on...

    Could the Obama's occultist tendencies be a part of a wider plot by a super-secret cabal of cross-idealogical sorcerers whose power is derived from the blood sacrifices of the uninsured? The sinister truth behind the "death panels" is revealed in my new book! Find out how Obama’s daughters were conceived during an elaborate ceremony involving sex magick and blood letting! It’s all here!

    Tune in to "Coast To Coast with George Noory" tonight at 3:00 a.m EST, 12:00 a.m Pacific to hear the interview and to hear how you can order my book!

    I'll be on the O'Reilly Factor in September!

  2. jeez jimmy, its all so satanic...

    will you be my new best friend?

  3. "I ain't got no crystal ball"


  4. anon- you should be my proofreader. look at all those stream of consciousness which i refuse to go back and check mistakes!