Beautiful Twunts

I have only been on twitter a short time, but some very interesting phenoms in the arena of famous/kinda famous people has arisen. I follow and unfollow them once I'm bored, but this is what I see:

1. The Extremely Boring Person Who Must Have a Great Publicist Tweeter

@johcmayer
Jon Mayer tops this list. While always easy to look at, and sometimes easy to listen to, his fitness tweets are unbearable. I unfollowed upon the following tweet: 15 mins cardio, stretching, 4x25 reps lats, quads and abs. Also, pracitcing defensive sprawl on ab ball. 5 minutes cardio cool,stretch. I can see why he 's the victim of short term (only) dating of the beautiful womens. See also @diablocody talking about Rock of Love.

Upside: sometimes he tells a joke from a laffy taffy wrapper.

2. The Seriously Trying Twitter to Save/Amp Up Career Tweeter

@davenavarro6767
Going with Dave Navarro Here. Not only is there a slap fight between my friend (real, non electronic) and Dave, but Dave tweets about a hundred times a day and replies to people constantly. While it seems sweet at first, upon introspection, it's bit pathetic. My own friends (real, non electronic) don't even reply this much to ME. Wait, umm, maybe I will follow Dave after all.

Upside: so he's human, and he cares what you think. cuz without you, he can't afford eyeliner.

3. The I'm So Vain, I Bet That Twitters All About Me Tweeter

@mrskutcher
@aplusk
Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. I had to include both, because they are so inseperable that their tweets are almost always re-tweets of one another's thoughts. And unlike sweet Dave N., they're not joining the conversation, they're teaching you! From Kabalah insight to advice on how to be kind, two of the richest and most removed people from reality will teach you how to live, properly. Also, they think everything they do is cute. Just follow. Massive TwitPics ensue.

Upside: the constant pics and video proof that this is true love and not some kinky may/december fetish.

4. The Seriously Interesting Because They're Talented and Creative Tweeters

@amandapalmer
Amanda's not touring with the Dresden Dolls but she sure as hell knows how to live. I have followed her all over Europe, including the double tweeted meeting of her and...

@neilgaiman
Neil IS awful busy tweeting Coraline, but then again, he's on a publicity tour of the world. Also, he tweets about his comic bookery, his bad hair (almost always with photo) and replies to folks a fairly normal amount. He's smart and humble. Good twittery.

@warrenellis
Okay, after this one, I promise not to list anymore artists/authors of comics. But these guys are witty and usually have something interesting to say, links to share, and an ongoing conversation to participate in. Warren probably tops most of them.

@wilw
It appears that everyone in the twitosphere follows Will Wheaton. No, it's not because he was on the tele once upon a time. It's because he's smart. And a nerd. And we get that.

Twitter Tweeple and Infinite Time-Sucks

I was a myspace addict. (I wish I could insert "teen" there... but I was in my thirties.)

Seriously. It started with my previous law partner's obsession with it, which I had to get in on... The giggles coming from her office inspired rabid jealousy in me, as I sat in my office, sweating over some brief or motion. I was severely lacking in the infinite time sucks at work that were giving joy to the nation.

So I went through the social networking evolution that ranges from tasteless (but hilarious!) posts, memes, and eventually blogs. I wrote blogs. (which I have now discovered, were "naked" blogs). I stalked blogs. I had a little circle of bloggers and blog readers established... when, WHAM! I became a paranoid version of my old blogging self, visions of my really bad poetry being dissimated in open court, simply because I was in the paper. Or something like that.

Delete. No more myspace blogs. No more myspace "friends." And I miss the ones I had such heated blogging discussion with. No more crossdressing Renaissance Faire performer, no more Music Exec turned writer who dropped out of the rat race to write, no more poet from New England trapped in Mississippi. Shit.

So I went to facebook. It seemed like all the grownups were there, and it provided a degree of privacy that myspace didn't. (and that I didn't really want.) And well, I cannot, cannot immerse myself in the facebook phenom. Rarely, does someone post a blog, which facebook insists on calling a "note." Rarely, does anyone post some bit of tacky comedy on my page. And never, ever, do I receive a "bulletin." Blah.

But today, an epiphany! My friends are on facebook to stalk! They're on myspace to stalk! My friends are not exhibitionists, they are voyeurs! And lets face it, the only part of facebook most folks are reading are the "status updates." So why facebook? When you can Twitter? All status updates, all the time. I'm giving it a shot, won't you?

Follow my tweets @ twitter.com/bbmumblings. I'll follow yours, wherever they are.